had some fun today,

oaplum wrote:well here's another for you, its a ride i do most nights, its a winter ride about 3 to 4 miles to get me out of the house for a while,

 a Winter evening bike ride round Goose Green,   for some unknown reason the sound goes off  for the last 5 minutes,  

Erm, "We're going to turn left............."???

oaplum wrote:well spotted Hieronymous,   I've always had problems knowing right from left, its all to do with  being anorexic , spelling,getting numbers mixed up and directions wrong, luckily for me, most forums have a spell checks I also have a calculator but there's no help for right  n  left,   I use the rhyme " I wright with my right and whats left is left, but there's not always time to do it,  

Corky Ringspot wrote:There's a famous seaside place called Blackpool
That's noted for fresh air and fun
And Mr. and Mrs. Ramsbottom
Went there with young Albert, their son
A fine little lad were young Albert
All dressed in his best, quite a swell
He'd a stick with an 'orse's 'ead 'andle;
The finest that Woolworth's could sell
They didn't think much to the ocean
The waves they were piddlin' and small
There were no wrecks and nobody drownded
'Fact, nothin' to laugh at at all!
So, seeking for further amusement
They paid, and went into the zoo
Where they'd lions and tigers and camels
And cold ale and sandwiches, too
There were one great big lion called Wallace
Whose nose was all covered with scars;
He lay in a som-no-lent posture
With the side of 'is face on the bars
Now Albert 'ad 'eard about lions-
'Ow they was ferocious and wild;
To see lion lyin' so peaceful
Just didn't seem right to the child
So straightway the brave little feller
Not showin' a morsel of fear
Took 'is stick with the 'orse's 'ead 'andle
And stuck it in Wallace's ear
You could see that the lion din't like it
For givin' a kind of a roll
'E pulled Albert inside the cage with 'im
And swallered the little lad - 'ole!
Now Mother 'ad seen this occurrence
And not knowin' what to do next
She 'ollered "Yon lion's et Albert!"
An' Father said "Ee, I am vexed."
They complained to an animal keeper
Who said "My, wot a nasty mis'ap;
Are you sure it's your boy 'e's eaten?"
Pa said, "Am I sure? There's 'is cap!"
The manager 'ad to be sent for;
'E came and 'e said "Wot's to-do?"
Ma said "Yon lion's et Albert
And 'im in 'is Sunday clothes, too!"
Father said "Right's right, young feller-
I think it's a shame and a sin
To 'ave our son et by a lion
And after we paid to come in."
The manager wanted no trouble;
He took out his purse right away
Sayin' "'Ow much to settle the matter?"
Pa said "Wot do you usually pay?"
But Mother 'ad turned a bit awkward
When she saw where 'er Albert 'ad gone
She said "No, someone's got to be summonsed!"
So that was decided upon
And off they all went to p'lice station
In front of a Magistrate chap;
They told what 'ad 'appened to Albert
And proved it by showing 'is cap
The Magistrate gave 'is opinion
That no one was really to blame
And 'e said that 'e 'oped the Ramsbottoms
Would 'ave further sons to their name
At that Mother got proper blazin':
"And thank you, sir, kindly," said she-
"Wot, spend all our lives raisin' children
To feed ruddy lions? Not me!"

oaplum wrote:
turning spanners has never troubled me, It must be a differant part of the brain with spanners and logic of RH LH threads, I've never had a problem there,

oaplum wrote:Oh dear! How many times have you turned your spanner the wrong way? I've done it as well to be fair.


turning spanners has never troubled me, It must be a differant part of the brain with spanners and logic of RH LH threads, I've never had a problem there,
but with the three R's I have big problems, of course dyslexic was't invented when I attended skool, so  I was told i was thick as mince and if i did't pull my socks up, I would become a bin man or plumber,

I won second prize,

Mac wrote:Haven't driven through it since the debacle began. Any smoother now, Vixen?


I will state again that Asda should be made to pay for the bridge over the duggie so all exiting traffic has to use the lights on the B&Q road.

jo anne wrote:There were well used cycle paths on Oxford Rd in Manchester when I was a student there (early nineties). The cyclists would whizz by & I was a very tentative pedestrian when crossing.